#36 – In Which My Expectations Are Surprised – Sarah-lucy

One time, I met this boy, and he got my number and a couple of days later he asked me on a date and we had a good time and then we cuddled on his coach until 5:45 the next morning.  (Yes–just cuddled.  Get your mind out of the gutter.)  And then we kept going on dates, and having a great time.  And then, all of a sudden, he pulled back.

And we kept dating, but it wasn’t the same, and then he was dating other people (and I was dating other people, but only because he was) and then after a few months, I said No More.  I liked him too much.  I told him he had to be my boyfriend or leave me alone.

He left me alone.

It should be said that everyone told me that this guy was a jerk, and that he didn’t like me, and that I needed to let it go and move on.

And I tried.  I deleted his number.  I prayed that I could stop have feelings for him.  I got a boyfriend.

It didn’t work.  I broke up with my boyfriend and I started calling him again.

My friends told me I was being stupid.  They told me things were never going to work out.  They told me I was being a doormat.  They told me I was obsessed.

We hung out as friends.  We got tacos.  I wanted him to want me, but he didn’t.

I told him I was moving.  He told me that his feelings had changed.  He told me that he was going to come visit me after he moved.

I was angry.  I was thrilled.  I was frustrated.  I didn’t want to be in a long distance relationship.  I wanted to be with him so, so bad.

I had known him for a year.  Why did he want me now that I was leaving?

And the words of my friends echoed in my ears.  “He’s not a good guy.”  “He only wants you because he can’t have you.”  “Don’t be stupid.”

But I loved him.  And I trusted him.  And he visited me many times over the next few months.  And I visited him.

And all signs point to this thing working out.

So listen to your heart, not your friends.  Make unreasonable choices.  Listen to your heart, even when your head tells you that you’re making a mistake.

Because if your heart is right, it is so, so worth it.

~ Sarah-lucy, Sacramento, California

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