Today I want to share the story of a person named Victor. Victor came into my life about two falls ago. Our acknowledgement of each others presence can be compared to a cheesy 1980’s sitcom when the girl finally notices her male best friend has turned into a hottie over the summer and asks herself how she never noticed him before.
I wouldn’t say that Victor and I had this type of chemical reaction to each others hormones, but it is true that I didn’t notice Victor for a long time and he knew that. That all changed the day I ate buffalo wild wings. That day we had a physical reaction that solidified who was the one in charge in this relationship.
Victor is the name of my stomach. For a period of months at a time Victor was the controlling girlfriend who set everything I was allowed to do, how often I would do it, and who I would do it with. He was a psychopath. He was committed to making my life an uncomfortable, miserable, awkward experience.
Hi, I am Victor. Some say I am a bit too choosy to treat Cali unfairly but I just blame it on plain bad luck. If I don’t like wheat, sugar, or other major sections of the food pyramid, I don’t have to explain why. I am trying to find my flow and sense of Zen and I am just gonna scream, kick, and shout until Cali figures it out.
I made the choice to find a remedy to please Victor. I went about my life living with the pain and discomfort that each new food item would bring to my body. Apples would make my throat close off, carrots cause me to projectile vomit without warning, dairy would turn me into a dog foaming at the mouth, and in addition, prime rib left me lying on the floor in the fetal position at Christmas dinner.
I come from a family that plans all their activities around food. And suddenly I found myself living in a home where the thing that we love as well as the things that brought us together as a unit was taken away from me. These phrases are often repeated throughout the walls of my home, “Do we have to eat what Cali eats?”, “what smells?… Cali is your stomach acting up again? Don’t run upwind from Cali she oozes stink.” I have turned into the girl who attends parties and acts like she isn’t hungry so the whole world doesn’t have to know the mood Victor is currently in.
With much searching and multiple pokes and pricks later I found myself a new boyfriend. I went and talked with a wise medicine man who directed me down a path of happiness, jumping, and the abandonment of oozing smells and bloated stomachs. My new boyfriend is digestzen—he is an essential oil. He lives on my bathroom sink next to my toothbrush in a little black bottle with a blue label. Three drops of him and a little rub on the belly and he turns my worst nightmares and fights with Victor into a pleasant night sleep.
With the bite of a single barbeque wing my life has been altered forever. This act of feeding myself sent me down a path of pain, discomfort, and frustration that I can never erase. Listen to your body and find the things that can heal and comfort you from all the pain in your life.
~ Cali Wilkes, Portland, Oregon